I didn't really write this tonight, but I promised myself I'd blog. So here I am, plagiarising my own work:
I just need to get this out of my system.
It actually annoys me when other people constantly whine about the negative things in their life. And yet I need to do just that, just a little, and just for me. Not for anyone else to read. And why here? So everyone could see it, that's why.
(I mean, seriously, who would read this. It's not like i'm posting it on facebook and tagging my friends in it.)
I just need to get this out of my system.
It actually annoys me when other people constantly whine about the negative things in their life. And yet I need to do just that, just a little, and just for me. Not for anyone else to read. And why here? So everyone could see it, that's why.
(I mean, seriously, who would read this. It's not like i'm posting it on facebook and tagging my friends in it.)
Just doing this, tapping on the keyboard and coming up with this nonsense is surprisingly refreshing. Addressing nobody in particular, or addressing myself, like in a good old-fashined diary, it just relaxes me.
Not that keeping a pen-and-paper journal had the same effect on me when I was obsessed with it about 5 years ago. Back then, I was EXTREMELY negative and pessimistic, and everything I wrote sort of reflected that, and reinforced it to some extent. My boyfriend had sensed this, and took the initiative of tearing up the cute little notebook that I had filled with enough dirt to bury my entire hometown.
Which might sound like a nasty thing for a boyfriend to do, but which was helpful in that it helped me heal, and it let me test my capability of putting things in perspective without using anything but my head. The way normal people (like him and everyone else I know personally) do.
(It's a kind of cultural norm here, to be uncomfortable with anything that involves using your IQ. Another story for another blog.)
So, I'm thinking, like what Jason Mraz said in his song:
Which might sound like a nasty thing for a boyfriend to do, but which was helpful in that it helped me heal, and it let me test my capability of putting things in perspective without using anything but my head. The way normal people (like him and everyone else I know personally) do.
(It's a kind of cultural norm here, to be uncomfortable with anything that involves using your IQ. Another story for another blog.)
So, I'm thinking, like what Jason Mraz said in his song:
"What about taking this empty cup and filling it up..."
I could use some optimism in my life.
So here I am, blogging my heart out. I don't care if nobody reads it, I don't care if I get caught (my boyfriend hates it when I express my feelings through writing), I've had enough of this self-imposed blog ban.
I'm thinking of deleting my facebook account, for good. What the hell do I need it for, I don't have a social life, in it or outside of it. I actually deactivated it, only to havr it re-activated by someone
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